DIFFERENCES
Roads get lonelier
Nights get darker
All the contrasts
Start to get starker
Lines are drawn
Territories now marked
Faces become worn
It's just my luck
Friday, August 30, 2013
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Lonely Lightbulb
The remaining lightbulb flickered. Casting an oily looking smear of light on the ground as she tottered down the deserted sidewalk. Her heels made loud clacking noises with every unsteady step she took.
The world was spinning.
A gust of frigid air blew down the street, chilling her alcohol warmed body.
The initial high had already worn off and now she just felt pathetic. Dizzy and pathetic. Then again, that's all she felt nowadays. A bitter laugh escaped from her lipsticked lips and rang eerily in the air. One hand clutching the half finished bottle of liquor, the other gripping the front of her thin coat in an attempt to fend off the wind, she knew she was a pathetic sight.
A cry escaped her lips as her heel lodged itself into the crack in the sidewalk causing her to trip and fall to the ground in an embarrassing heap. Not that there was anyone to witness her fall from grace. It was 3 O'clock in the morning and any sane person would be at home sleeping.
But not Aquila Vera.
Gingerly prodding her ankle, she groaned and yanked off the heels.
"Bloody feet killers." She spat and threw them to the side.
She was certainly a very miserable sight.
Crouched at the side of the road with her belongings lying forlornly on the ground around her.
The lone streetlamp flickered once again and looking down she laughed at the ridiculously shaped shadow of herself on the ground. Soon, everything else seemed to be very funny. She laughed at the stupid crack in the sidewalk. She laughed at her heels as the lay on the sidewalk, as if, as if they had committed suicide from the top of some building. She laughed at the wind, howling and ripping through the street. How useless. She laughed at the time. 3 O'clock. Didn't that sound so odd. 3 O'clock. 3 3 3. She laughed so hard her body shook and she wrapped her arms around herself, containing the shaking. She laughed so hard that slowly then more rapidly, hot tears cascaded down her frozen cheeks. Her laughter slowly transformed into tears which streaked down her face as if in a hurry to go somewhere.
Anywhere.
Anywhere but here.
Sobs still shaking her body, she threw herself back and lay on the cold ground with the rest of her items.
Soon enough her tears subsided and she felt truly empty.
Empty.
That's all she ever was.
Her hand found the half-finished bottle of Baileys and lifting herself ever so slightly from the ground, she held the bottle to her lips, threw her head back, and let the warm liquid burn it's way to her stomach.
Once done, she suddenly felt the urge to hurl the bottle as far as she could.
Swinging her arm back, she aimed for a dark corner in the opposite street and flung the dark brown bottle into the darkness. The resulting tinkling crash and the yowl of some unsuspecting feline suddenly rekindled the urge to laugh.
And so she did.
She didn't know when laughter turned into sobs. Or when the sobs turned into a still, frozen silence.
She didn't know anything anymore.
She lay on the ground, splayed out, with her cherry red locks tangled, staining her face with their redness, her skin paler than ever. Glowing in the light of the lonely lamp.
Sleep began to tug and pull at her, like the lulling movement of waves at the shore. Slowly cajoling her to somewhere else.
She gladly followed.
The streetlight emitting a flickering yellow light on the still body of the renowned model, Aquila Vera.
The world was spinning.
A gust of frigid air blew down the street, chilling her alcohol warmed body.
The initial high had already worn off and now she just felt pathetic. Dizzy and pathetic. Then again, that's all she felt nowadays. A bitter laugh escaped from her lipsticked lips and rang eerily in the air. One hand clutching the half finished bottle of liquor, the other gripping the front of her thin coat in an attempt to fend off the wind, she knew she was a pathetic sight.
A cry escaped her lips as her heel lodged itself into the crack in the sidewalk causing her to trip and fall to the ground in an embarrassing heap. Not that there was anyone to witness her fall from grace. It was 3 O'clock in the morning and any sane person would be at home sleeping.
But not Aquila Vera.
Gingerly prodding her ankle, she groaned and yanked off the heels.
"Bloody feet killers." She spat and threw them to the side.
She was certainly a very miserable sight.
Crouched at the side of the road with her belongings lying forlornly on the ground around her.
The lone streetlamp flickered once again and looking down she laughed at the ridiculously shaped shadow of herself on the ground. Soon, everything else seemed to be very funny. She laughed at the stupid crack in the sidewalk. She laughed at her heels as the lay on the sidewalk, as if, as if they had committed suicide from the top of some building. She laughed at the wind, howling and ripping through the street. How useless. She laughed at the time. 3 O'clock. Didn't that sound so odd. 3 O'clock. 3 3 3. She laughed so hard her body shook and she wrapped her arms around herself, containing the shaking. She laughed so hard that slowly then more rapidly, hot tears cascaded down her frozen cheeks. Her laughter slowly transformed into tears which streaked down her face as if in a hurry to go somewhere.
Anywhere.
Anywhere but here.
Sobs still shaking her body, she threw herself back and lay on the cold ground with the rest of her items.
Soon enough her tears subsided and she felt truly empty.
Empty.
That's all she ever was.
Her hand found the half-finished bottle of Baileys and lifting herself ever so slightly from the ground, she held the bottle to her lips, threw her head back, and let the warm liquid burn it's way to her stomach.
Once done, she suddenly felt the urge to hurl the bottle as far as she could.
Swinging her arm back, she aimed for a dark corner in the opposite street and flung the dark brown bottle into the darkness. The resulting tinkling crash and the yowl of some unsuspecting feline suddenly rekindled the urge to laugh.
And so she did.
She didn't know when laughter turned into sobs. Or when the sobs turned into a still, frozen silence.
She didn't know anything anymore.
She lay on the ground, splayed out, with her cherry red locks tangled, staining her face with their redness, her skin paler than ever. Glowing in the light of the lonely lamp.
Sleep began to tug and pull at her, like the lulling movement of waves at the shore. Slowly cajoling her to somewhere else.
She gladly followed.
The streetlight emitting a flickering yellow light on the still body of the renowned model, Aquila Vera.
Tissue Paper
She listened to her friends chattering away, and she tried to force a smile onto her face. Lately it had been getter increasingly difficult for her to pretend she was normal. The emotions that ripped through her made her want to just stop feeling anything at all.
It wasn't hard for them to eventually forget she was there.
Bending down to pick up piece of paper she had dropped, she looked up and realised that they had already moved a meter away from here.
Hayley stood up slowly. The hand that had reached for the paper turning limp.
Again.
No matter how obvious she tried to make herself, for some reason her existence was so pathetically denied each time.
If anyone had asked her what super power she would long to have, she would have said Invisibility immediately.
She used to think that being invisible was a gift. No one would see her which meant that she do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted.
And yet, if you'd ask her that now, she'd probably stare at you and wonder just what world you live in.
Why would anyone long for a 'power' that they already have?
Perhaps invisible isn't the right word, It was more of the super ability that enabled her to blend in effortlessly.
It was then she realised that just because you wished for something, doesn't mean that you would enjoy it once you got it.
Maybe...maybe sometimes when you get what you want, you realize that it's not really what you wanted after all.
Snapping out of the thoughts that burned through her mind, she noticed that they were a good four meters away.
Okay.
That's okay.
Hayley slowly reached into her bag and fished out her iPod. Same old same old.
That's fine.
Plugging in, she cued a list of music and collecting her thoughts and things, proceeded to make her way home behind the people who had forgotten her existence.
That's okay.
It wasn't the first time anyway.
Rearranging her features into the blank, calm mask that she wore at such times, she suppressed her emotions and let herself drown in the beat of the music.
Everything that kills me, makes me feel alive.
It wasn't hard for them to eventually forget she was there.
Bending down to pick up piece of paper she had dropped, she looked up and realised that they had already moved a meter away from here.
Hayley stood up slowly. The hand that had reached for the paper turning limp.
Again.
No matter how obvious she tried to make herself, for some reason her existence was so pathetically denied each time.
If anyone had asked her what super power she would long to have, she would have said Invisibility immediately.
She used to think that being invisible was a gift. No one would see her which meant that she do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted.
And yet, if you'd ask her that now, she'd probably stare at you and wonder just what world you live in.
Why would anyone long for a 'power' that they already have?
Perhaps invisible isn't the right word, It was more of the super ability that enabled her to blend in effortlessly.
It was then she realised that just because you wished for something, doesn't mean that you would enjoy it once you got it.
Maybe...maybe sometimes when you get what you want, you realize that it's not really what you wanted after all.
Snapping out of the thoughts that burned through her mind, she noticed that they were a good four meters away.
Okay.
That's okay.
Hayley slowly reached into her bag and fished out her iPod. Same old same old.
That's fine.
Plugging in, she cued a list of music and collecting her thoughts and things, proceeded to make her way home behind the people who had forgotten her existence.
That's okay.
It wasn't the first time anyway.
Rearranging her features into the blank, calm mask that she wore at such times, she suppressed her emotions and let herself drown in the beat of the music.
Everything that kills me, makes me feel alive.
Trapped
Harsh branches
Whipped her face
Scratching and scarring
As she continued to race
Through this maze
This tangled forest
She so longed to raze
To the ground.
Stinging of words
Like poison that burnt
Through skin
Like onion-paper
So thin.
Searing like razors
Through her skin
Leaving it's mark
Scaring within.
And yet, she stayed.
For otherwise
She would be lost.
The feel of his eyes
Branding her skin
As she ran
Through that maze
Without any plan
Of where to go.
This forest
Once vibrant and bright
Now dead.
Like the light
That fled from her eyes.
Trapped in this game
Running round in circles
Prey to maim.
That's all she is.
Just how.
How do I leave.
What to do now.
Now that I'm so far in.
Sucked into this trap.
'Hate is spitting out each others mouths, but we're still sleeping like we're lovers.'
STILL - DAUGHTER
Whipped her face
Scratching and scarring
As she continued to race
Through this maze
This tangled forest
She so longed to raze
To the ground.
Stinging of words
Like poison that burnt
Through skin
Like onion-paper
So thin.
Searing like razors
Through her skin
Leaving it's mark
Scaring within.
And yet, she stayed.
For otherwise
She would be lost.
The feel of his eyes
Branding her skin
As she ran
Through that maze
Without any plan
Of where to go.
This forest
Once vibrant and bright
Now dead.
Like the light
That fled from her eyes.
Trapped in this game
Running round in circles
Prey to maim.
That's all she is.
Just how.
How do I leave.
What to do now.
Now that I'm so far in.
Sucked into this trap.
'Hate is spitting out each others mouths, but we're still sleeping like we're lovers.'
STILL - DAUGHTER
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Tie Me Up ☾
Tie
Me
Up
So
That
I
Will
Not
Fall
Apart.
For theres only
So much
I can do.
To delude myself
Into thinking "I'm fine"
Without you.
Me
Up
So
That
I
Will
Not
Fall
Apart.
For theres only
So much
I can do.
To delude myself
Into thinking "I'm fine"
Without you.
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