Forever and Always

"You're my little pot of gold. You know that right, Lacie? You're the only one I've got. You won't leave me...would you?"

His fingers brushed through her hair as he said that, tangling it and occasionally pulling at it as if he could push forward the meaning of what he was trying to convey with little punctuated stabs of pain to her head.

She didn't trust herself with words. She was afraid to encounter his wrath again. A quick shaky nod would suffice.

But how was she to know that it wasn't enough.

The sudden lapse in his erratic, drunken breathing was an indicator of the storm about to break but she noticed it a bit too late. And before she could react, she felt her head whip back and her cheek stung as she was slammed against the car seat. A pained shriek escaped her parted lips as he closed his over hers, effectively shutting off the sound.

Stunned, too stunned to react, she merely froze as his mouth moved over hers, cajoling a response out of her was as good as trying to rescusitate a corpse for all the response he was getting. She could feel his hand move to her hair which he then grabbed and pulled her up with him, pressing his torso against hers, so quickly that she couldn't have retaliated even if she wanted to. He shook her and flung her as if she were a ragdoll, against the window.

He leaned half out of his seat, over the gears in the middle and placed his hands on either side of her head on the glass, effectively trapping her in the cage of his arms. He moved with a slow predatory deliberation that caused her to feel a tremor of fear. Leaning very close to her, she could feel the tickle of his breath on her ear as she tolerated the stink of alcohol from his mouth. Waiting. Just waiting for the next blow.

What came next shocked her into stillness.

"Please. Please don't leave me."

She didn't know what to do or say to comfort the subdued, suddenly somewhat sober, manic beast of a boyfriend as the cage turned into an embrace and she was swallowed up into a warm hug. Moistening her bruised lips, she raised her trembling arms and put them around his trembling form. She was still reeling from the shock and suddenness of the whole thing and words simply failed her. It was only when she realised the wetness on her neck which dampened her shirt was his tears did she force herself to choke out a strained reply.

Her throat tightened and she struggled to hold back the tears threatening to fall when he tightened his grip on her back in response to her shaky reply.

"Forever?"

Her voice cracked again as she said,

"And always."

Forever and always.

The first thing he said to her after he had confessed to her as they lay on the soft, fine sand, slightly illuminated by the soft orangey glow. The last dying rays of sunset.

His eyes, playfully sparkling a lovely deep ocean blue, held none of the malice and madness of the piercing blue ice that had bored into her own frightened grey ones. His hands once so gentle as they stroked her coffee brown hair, now were so full of rage which left its own mark on her face.

The words they had once exchanged now were laced with spite and stung as they burrowed into the recesses of her heart.

She could no longer recognize that enigmatic, loving blonde boy with the ocean blue eyes who gently held her hand and professed his love for her with a slight blush. Now she only saw a rabid beast, prone to attack anytime. And yet in this strange moments where he held her tight against him, as if he were afraid she would vanish, did she feel herself suddenly comfortable and in a weird twisted way, safe.

Tears streaked down her sore face as she felt the sobs shake his body and eventually, hers.

"Stay with me."

His voice, merely a whisper after his outburst caused her to clench her hands into fists as she whispered back in reply.

"Forever...and always."

The Tired Tread

THE TIRED TREAD OF THE WEARY

Papers litter the floor.
Covered in faces,
Infused with colour
And memories from many places.

She paints her world,
Just the way she sees it.
Idealistic, alive, bright,
Just the way she needs it.

But when the light is out.
Her fears uncaged.
All hell breaks loose as
Unchained, they rampaged

Through her fragile mind.
Hands shaking with trepidation,
Mind oddly clear of hesitation and
A line is drawn with deliberation.

Scarlett stains alabaster white.
And yet the light fails to shine.
So a weary smile stretches her face and
She drowns her sorrows in her wine.

Left.

She hears the words in silence,
Reads the feelings on the faces,
Sees the movements in the still,
She doesn't know just what she chases.

When it's time to go
She longs to stay
But it's just her
Who feels that way.

They part their ways
And now what separates
Are so many days
Shoved in between

The distance stretches
As she frantically wonders,
Her anxiety rises
Is it just me who hungers?

For that feeling of companionship,
One for all and all for one.
But what she cannot sense,
Is that this time round, they're done.

It's a long long distance.

Watching you from a distance
Is all I'll ever do
For I don't have the courage
To tell you "I love you"

Did you know?

Did you know?
Your eyes light up your face.
And when you smile,
my heart starts to race.

Fool

Things that remind me
of them and you and us
how it all used to be
need to be forgotten

For those days are over
But then, sometimes,
when i'm not sober,
Against my will, I ponder

What if you still care?
Can we still be together?
After all, you did promise me
"You, me, forever?"

Or am i just deluded.
Did you ever say such words?
Because I could have sworn
I know just what I heard.

But one day,
you vanished without a trace.
And everyday I wondered,
was there ever a place...

Where we could meet?
I know I'd smile and blush
And giggle at my feet.
You'd say "Hi"

And I'd fall for you
All over again.